from my story book Paradox of Fiction
Frankly. Frankly? He recognized her instantly. They stood there, examining each other. Thoughts raced through their minds. Memories of life in Eden. It felt like an eternity ago.
“You’ve aged… grown up in your old age,” she said.
She could never be unnaturally kind. But that was what he found most beautiful about her. Her authenticity. Her contrast.
“You look exactly the same as I remember… like it was yesterday,” he said, still staring at her in awe.
“And?” she raised an eyebrow.
“I wanted to…”
His mind raced with endless desires: to embrace her, to inhale her scent, to justify himself, to explain, to ask questions, to make plans… but he couldn’t prioritize which desire should be spoken first. The storm of proteins in his brain resembled the foaming waters of Niagara Falls.
“I wanted to see you… just once more, to try… to apologize to you,” he said, knowing that by recalling that ancient act, he risked losing everything he wanted. But he felt it was the only thing that might be accepted.
“You know… if it wasn’t meant to be, neither of us would still be here. If it were meant to be otherwise, we’d still be stuck in Eden, alone until this moment. God didn’t mind the sin. But I did. That’s why I left. I wasn’t expelled from paradise. That was you… with Eve. So, there’s nothing to apologize for. I’m alive, healthy, and immortal. And yes… I have flaws, but they’re mine, not yours… everyone should focus only on their own,” she paused.
That’s good, he thought. That’s what I needed to hear. To hear it from you. Not read articles by intermediaries or interpreters of understanding. Her words made him smile.
“…And look for forgiveness elsewhere, you know. I’m not a judge. Before I existed, you didn’t even know… didn’t realize… that you were a man. I’m the first woman, and I’m proud of that. I accepted the name Lilith… I accepted everything. You should learn to accept things as they are and stop fighting everything. You’ll feel relief. You’re Archangel Michael, also known as Adam. I have nothing more to say,” she gave her final advice.
“I know. I’m glad I could hear it from you. And don’t be mad…”
The weight of the unspoken fell from his soul.
“OK… take care… I’m off to live again… and you should try it too,” Lilith said, for the first and last time truly bidding him farewell.
Then she was gone. Take care, he thought.
“Take care,” he called out to the heavens.
Frankly? He recognized her instantly. There she stood, as stunning, as untouchable as ever, as if everything between them had been nothing but a bad dream. He’d been searching for her for years. Over and over, he had rehearsed what he would say. But now, with her standing right in front of him, all those carefully crafted lines vanished.
“Hi,” he said calmly, almost politely.
He attempted a smile, but it barely warmed his face.
“Do I know you?” she asked coldly, taking a drag from her cigarette.
“Yes,” he answered without hesitation. “I mean… yes. Lilith. You’re Lilith. I’m sure.”
“And so what?” Her gaze was sharp, cutting through him like a blade.
“I wanted…”
He hesitated, but only briefly.
“I wanted to apologize.“
“For what?” she asked, her tone dripping with bored indifference. “For doing exactly what you wanted? For giving me everything I never asked for?”
“No,” he said firmly, even though every word felt heavier in his chest.
“For giving you more than I should have. More than I could afford.” His voice was surprisingly steady.
“But what about you? ” he continued. ” What have you ever given? To anyone? You’ve built a world where no one but you is good enough. But, Lil, you’re not a god. You’re not even a fucking goddess. You’re just someone who can’t live with yourself, so you push everyone else away.”
Lilith laughed—a cold, emotionless sound.
“Maybe,” she admitted.
“But at least I never pretended to give. I take because I can. And I never lied to you, Michael. That’s the difference between us. I’ve always known what I want.”
“Really?” he smirked bitterly.
“And what did you want when you said you needed money? Another weekend, huh? Another hotel, another drink, another guy who got to feel like he was the only one in the world. Just a damn feeling. A feeling you can buy.”
“Exactly,” she snapped.
“And? Did you think you were different? Did you think I needed you for more than that? Michael, you made me like this. It was you who gave me a world where I could take whatever I wanted. If you’ve got a problem with that, you should’ve stopped yourself sooner. You try so fucking hard to impress a woman, like it’s gonna make you special, but all you do is make yourself look like a pathetic loser. It’s fucking pathetic”
“I looked for you,” he said quietly, his voice more tired than angry.
“For years.”
“And so what?” She leaned casually against the wall, tapping her cigarette to flick off the ash.
“I didn’t ask you to. I wasn’t looking for you. You looked. And guess what? Finding me changes nothing.”
“You’re a fucking…” he began, but stopped himself.
“Yes,” she interrupted, “and you’re still the same idiot who thinks answers come from someone else. Leave me alone, Michael. Just leave me alone.”
She turned to leave.
“Lilith,” he called after her.
She stopped and stepped back toward him.
Slowly, she leaned in close, holding the cigarette loosely between her fingers.
Her face was just inches from his, her eyes narrowing as she inhaled deeply.
“Do you know what you get, Michael?” she whispered, her voice dripping with mockery.
Then, with deliberate cruelty, she exhaled a plume of smoke straight into his mug.
“This,” she said.
“This is all you get.”
Before the smoke dissipated, she was gone.
” [censored]“ he said
All photographs and texts are my own and are protected by copyright law. Their use is permitted only with my written consent. MIC©
