part I: Nomy
She had been afraid to meet him back then—not because he was intimidating or dangerous, but because she knew that seeing him would inevitably lead to another flood of texts: „How are you feeling today?“ „Why the sad eyes?“ „Why this? Why that? Why?“ It was an endless loop. Avoiding him entirely was simply easier. The most effective way was to ignore his relentless attempts to start a conversation.
She had realized quickly that he was in love. Like everyone else. Nothing unusual. She knew she was beautiful; it wasn’t new to her. People brought it up constantly, and he was no exception. In this way, he was just like the others. But otherwise? He was—later, she’d use the word that seemed to define him perfectly—peculiar.
He was overweight, quick-witted, always had an answer to everything. He was the oldest among them and often joked that he was over a million years old—“judging by the wear and tear.“ His life stories sounded almost unbelievable. Even if half of them were true, he’d still be a strange one.
They say if it walks like a duck, quacks like a duck, then it must be a duck. But this one? This was a duck from a factory farm. A peculiar duck. More precisely, a peculiar drake. God only knew why he said the things he did. Then again, what God knows, she often felt she knew too. He was just another guy trying to win her over with fairy tales, hoping for another notch on his belt. Even though he claimed otherwise.
She wasn’t buying it. She had seen plenty of guys like him before and had never been wrong about them. Life had taught her to be constantly on guard, never letting her guard down, never risking another heartbreak. Especially not with someone like him. Married, a storyteller, and, on top of it all, supposedly a musician. Emotional burns like that took forever to heal, and with him? Thank you, no. It would’ve been absurd.
When did it even begin? Where else… it’s obvious. There. She’d heard about him from a colleague who sent her to him with some question. Apparently, he wasn’t as arrogant as some of the others, which is why people preferred to ask him for advice. Well, fine. She’d have to meet another person. But she wasn’t in the mood for introductions. Not here, not now. She had her reasons. People were treacherous, and there were always plenty of reasons to stay away from them. Not closer than necessary. Ugh.
He was standing by some green contraption, observing something. „Good day! What can I do for you? I’m…“ That was the first sentence she’d ever heard from him. Right away, this chubby older guy casually offered her to switch to first names. It was funny. For a moment, he seemed almost unnaturally cheerful. But only for a moment. A day, two, maybe just a few hours? He downplayed everything, and nothing was ever a problem. A sarcastic clown. After all the trouble she had endured in this hostile environment, he seemed almost like a mirage. Like something made up. This man was actually smiling here, trying not to burden himself with any problems. Life seemed to speed up a little.
She didn’t even know why she had given him her phone number that time. At that moment, she couldn’t find a reason not to. If she had known she was dusting off the magic lamp of Aladdin, she’d never have done it.
„I can’t take my eyes off you,“ read the text message. She looked around to see where he was watching her from. He stood not far off, blending in with something. That’s why she hadn’t noticed him immediately. She smiled and waved. Politeness is politeness. „Thank you,“ she texted back. His reply came faster than you could say „shoemaker,“ maybe even faster than the thought of the word itself. Then another, and another message. Answers to questions she hadn’t even asked. Boy, he was quick. Judging by the number of messages, it seemed like this guy had nothing else to do.
Sometimes she had no idea what he was even talking about. But as if he realized that what he’d written didn’t make sense, another clarifying message would arrive right after. Some were impossible not to laugh at. Honestly laugh. He could poke fun at almost anything, especially himself. After everything she had been through here, it wasn’t unpleasant to exchange a few words with him. One day, they talked for almost eight hours straight. When was the last time she had a conversation like that with anyone?
What’s more, he actually seemed to listen when she talked. She needed someone to talk to—about anything. She wanted at least one person in this company to know who she really was. It surprised her when he seemed to be doing the same thing. Honestly.
Hold on. Slow down, buddy. Let’s pump the brakes. This isn’t going where you think it is.
Where did all the fun go? You’ve turned into an autumn sun, barely shining and definitely not warm.
Every woman knows what’s happening when a man starts doing these things. Sure, go on a diet, you fool.
„If you get too skinny, I’m not talking to you anymore,“ she warned him cautiously. She wasn’t some naive little girl who could be easily manipulated. And say what you want, but stop texting me so much. I can’t even keep up with reading it, let alone replying. I don’t know how to tell you this.
She noticed that he was changing. She probably wouldn’t have if he hadn’t been so persistent in demanding her attention. She felt something was brewing, that something was going to happen. It was weird. When she passed him in the mornings, she had to turn her head away. The peculiar drake had turned into a strange man.
„Are we just going to keep avoiding each other?“ he texted right after.
„You were working; I didn’t want to interrupt, you know,“ she lied. A merciful lie. You clearly wouldn’t handle the truth. I know you by now.
Get back to your pond, drake. And no, I can’t accept your gifts. Please understand. Please. I didn’t think you were this dense. What are you doing now? Don’t give me that „It’s just a Christmas gift“ nonsense. Seriously? Do I look like I was born yesterday? You’re all the same, thinking you can buy everything. And musicians? They’re the worst of the bunch.
With the same stubbornness with which he began pestering her, she started avoiding him. Except now he wasn’t texting her personal phone anymore. She didn’t bother to figure out why. He was writing utter nonsense. Nonsense squared. Depression? What are you even talking about? You’re crazy, seriously. I’m glad the holidays are here. At least you won’t be texting during Christmas, will you? That phone call of yours was more than enough. Snap out of it, man. Cry it out if it helps.
During the Christmas holidays, he messaged her with polite greetings. She cautiously responded in the same tone, worried that he’d immediately start texting her again. But nothing. Complete silence. Phew. Peaceful, quiet holidays. There should be more of these.
After the break, there was a brief, almost stifling silence. Good morning, hi, take care… nothing more. A few times she saw him near some test station, but he stood apart, as if keeping his distance—from everyone. Pretty decent of him. He wasn’t even shaving anymore. No texts, no visibility. Maybe he was sulking.
She found out that he had tattooed both of his arms with some inscriptions. She just hoped her name or anything resembling it wasn’t among them. She’d break both his arms if it was. She assumed she knew why he’d done it. What a fool. Full sleeves. Both arms. She just wanted to know what was written there.
She called him, like a teacher summoning a delinquent to the office. He showed up almost immediately.
„It’s just song lyrics that have followed me through life. I like them,“ he explained. Oh, the drama.
„Okay, I just wanted to see them. You’re crazy,“ she replied.
„Is this supposed to be your last will and testament? You’ve got time for that, don’t you?“ she later messaged him.
„No, it’s just everything I won’t have time to say. It would be a shame to leave it unsaid,“ he replied almost instantly.
Inwardly, she had to admit that the text he’d let her read was actually quite good. Bravo. So now you’re tattooed. And you’ve lost weight. It shows. He was a completely different man from the one she’d met two months ago. Like some battle-hardened soldier from Afghanistan. Wait a second… has it really only been two months? she asked herself. If his autumn sun used to give no warmth, now it downright froze. Was this even the same guy? He was more than strange now. Just as long as it didn’t get worse. She thought she had him figured out, but she wasn’t sure if he was dangerous or not. All the saints and good riddance to evil. How many transformations was this? Alien. For a brief moment, she even wondered if that might actually be true.
Then she ran into him randomly during some test. He smiled at her, faintly resembling the cheerful father-figure from November. He looked like a crushed rake but didn’t bring up anything from the past. He seemed resigned, at peace. Until, that afternoon, she received a barrage of cryptic texts again.
„Some things, my dear, you should just keep to yourself. I know you trust me, but the story of how you met your wife? Keep that to yourself. You keep aiming for the same target, and I’m not buying it.“ She sent it, and then crap, she realized she must’ve touched a nerve. So, the word liar gets under your skin, huh?
And then he scared her.
„Please, stop me. Just say stop. Please,“ she read later that evening at home on her phone screen. She looked out the window. Nothing. No one. What did that mean? His final message read: „Thanks, you don’t need to. It’s simple. Take care.“ What had that idiot done now?
It was Friday, so she wouldn’t find out until next week.
The following week, she saw him a few times at work. Still not talking to anyone. Or maybe he was, but she wasn’t on that list. He answered technical questions when asked but didn’t initiate any friendly conversations. She didn’t mind. This was how it should be. She could focus on her work.
She needed to get into the flow. The job itself wasn’t particularly challenging. Routine. But how to bring order to this chaos? Everyone had big talk about functional systems, but nothing ever got done. It was just money, Inc. Weird place, weird people. Goodness is scarce here. February was nasty enough on its own without corporate meddling.
She mostly kept her distance from her office colleagues, who were always chattering about family and partners. Days and weeks alternated like the last snowflakes of winter and the first drops of spring rain. She looked forward to the woods. She loved the woods. But she’d have to wait a little longer.
He messaged her a belated International Women’s Day greeting. It was comical. The guy who had recently been trying to act like a poker-faced professional was attempting to break the silence. No, you’re not funny anymore… just laughable. Still, she thanked him. He hadn’t done anything wrong, really. Just been insufferably annoying when she’d let him.
She thanked him, though, with a slight sense of unease. Like when you wait for a child’s balloon to pop. She knew what always followed after any hint of personal communication.
But this time, nothing. Silence. The balloon didn’t pop; it just drifted away. Where do those balloons go when they escape late-closing children’s hands? Somewhere far. And just like that, he wasn’t there anymore. A week, two, three passed. Maybe he’d disappeared. He had told her he’d vanish if he could, just for her. Odd.
By the end of the fourth week, she saw him again at work through the office window. He was hunched over, walking unusually slowly. He never moved quickly, but he was never without energy. Another pose? Maybe she’d been too harsh on him. Actually, he’d never done anything bad to her. Maybe she’d just panicked.
She started seeing him more frequently again, but he still remained quiet. He only responded when spoken to—never initiating conversations. Well, you used to be more fun, mister. When she called him for advice, she felt a twinge of nervousness. And, as if on cue, he answered her questions politely, formally, without adding anything unnecessary. Thank you, goodbye, great. That sounded like anyone else—but not him.
Maybe he’s finally grown out of it, she thought. Maybe this is what “normal” looks like for him. Had she ever really seen him acting „normal“ before? She’d seen him be odd, but never this. Spring marched on; April gave way to May. And May always brought a little joy with it. Her phone buzzed on the desk. A new message:
„Happy name day to you.“
She smiled. It was a kind gesture, unexpected. Alright, you’re not laughable; you’re just… peculiar, she thought to herself. You’re so delightfully scatterbrained when you talk to me. When we speak, your eyes look at the ceiling, the floor, anywhere but directly at me. Looking at me doesn’t come naturally to you, does it?
„Every time I look into your eyes for too long, I find myself drowning in them all over again,“ he texted her.
She smiled again, despite herself. Are we really going to start this all over?
I don’t know how to say this without hurting you, but maybe you’ll understand, she thought to herself. I don’t know how to describe you. Maybe you’re like a meal I’ve never had before. The first bite is… peculiar. A combination of flavors that don’t overpower each other, yet each is entirely unique. But there are too many of them. It’s overwhelming. A meal shouldn’t be this complicated. And it’s far too filling.
She paused.
„It’s not bad, honestly, but it’s not something I would ever choose for myself. Not even if it were the last meal on earth.“
And she left it at that.
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