You might have noticed I was a bit quiet on New Year’s Eve. No fireworks on WordPress or my webs, no mass-texts at midnight. No, I didn’t forget you. I just decided to stop participating in the massive lie we all live in.

The truth is, we are constantly bending, shifting, and patching time just to make it fit into our little charts. And I thought to myself: What if we just… stopped?

It’s 2027 and we’re having a “May” frost? ❄️🌸

If we had ignored leap years since the year 0 and stopped stuffing that extra day into February, everything would be different. According to an “honest” calendar—one without all the tweaks—today’s date would actually be:

MAY 12, 2027

So while you were celebrating New Year’s on January 1st, I was mentally already halfway to summer. Do you see the absurdity? If we didn’t clumsily warp time just to keep summer in the summer, things would look like this:

• Your calendar would say it’s May.
• Outside, it would be bitter January winter (at least in our neck of the woods).
• And you’d be cursing me for wishing you a “Happy New Year” when the calendar says it’s nearly mid-May.

Slaves to the “Correction Mechanism”

The Earth is a rebel. It takes roughly 5 hours and 48 minutes longer to orbit the Sun than our standard 365 days. So, we invented leap years. In the last 2,000 years, we’ve had to patch in 491 days just so we wouldn’t be trudging through snow in January while feeling like the cherry blossoms should be out.

Our entire calendar is basically one giant, ongoing maintenance job on a cosmic machine. We’re always moving something somewhere just to make sure Christmas lands in December. (And don’t even get me started on relativity…)

So, about those wishes…

Please don’t hold it against me that I didn’t reach out on New Year’s Eve. Just remember: I simply refuse to be part of this calendar conspiracy! 😁 According to “pure” uncorrected time, I should have wished you a Happy New Year 2026 about a year and a half ago.

But fine, I’ll make a concession to your time-bending ways. So: Happy May 12th! May everything go your way in 2026 (or whatever year you choose to believe it is). I hope you enjoy this freezing “May” day to the fullest! 🥂😂

I’m just a rebel and a fool on the hill — Mic.